My friend Mary Ann and I spent one evening together in Des Moines. We were best friends the last few years I was in Iowa. It's funny how we pick up right where we left off. We haven't kept in touch like we should and once again we made a vow we would do better. She knows me so well. She walked with me through those difficult high school years. She has grieved with me through losses. She always affirms me. We laugh, we cry and it is good to be together. I love her so much for being part of my life and caring so much about me.
It seems like after I have been to Des Moines that I get a bit reflective when I come back home. Mostly I have begun digging through my house again, picking up writing from long ago. I made a decision that I would try to get all my writing in one place. I ordered a new blank book for the beautiful leather cover I bought in 1975 at the Saturday Market in Eugene. I spent a bit of time early this morning reading my poetry from 1973. Some of it is pretty creative. I am not sure my children have ever read any of it. Of course some of it reflects what I thought was love at the time. Not their dad at that point. But the thoughts are still worthwhile. I still want to write a book or at least something that is published--part of my bucket list.
I met some absolutely fascinating people on 3 of the 4 flights I was on.
The first leg of the trip I sat beside a couple but we they weren't interested in talking too much, which was hard for me. I did find out they were on their way to New Orleans. It was also the only trip I was by the window. They were both sleeping and I really needed to use the bathroom. Finally he woke up briefly and I apologized but said I had to get up. They were really nice but it reminded me again why I like the aisle seat.
The second leg I met a 34 year old guy from Alberta, Canada. He was flying to Des Moines to pick up a motorcycle for a friend and then drive it back to Canada. He was so relaxed about the whole thing. Not worried a bit about what he might find. He said if it wasn't a good buy he would walk away. When we said goodbye no one had showed up yet to meet him. I admired his calmness. We spent a good deal of the trip talking about the expectations of marriage and a spouse. He had this hilarious list of what he wanted in a woman that he pulled up on his phone. He is twice divorced and while he said he would never marry again I wasn't convinced. I got a chance to share a bit of my knowledge and experiences particularly as related to marriage. I wish I had asked his name.
Ont the way back to Oregon my first flight sat me next to a young couple with a baby girl Myah. It really is a small world because the mom was from Visalia, which is close to Dinuba, where Steve and I lived for 8 years. It got crazier when I found out she had cousins from Sultana (where I taught school) and indeed I knew two of her cousins.
The last leg of the trip I sat by a man, Duane, who transports prisoners all over the United States. He was picking up a man in Oregon to take back to Tennessee. Of course being a teacher in a correctional facility made conversation easy, sometimes intense. I came away with some books to look into, showed a movie he suggested, to my boys this week and felt renewed in my desire to impact my students. I wasn't supposed to sit by him but I watched an exchange between two girls, one sitting by him and one by me. I asked if they wanted to sit together and I would be willing to trade seats. I think God had that in His plan.
I was set back a bit this week because my friend Kim's son-in-law was killed in a car accident and I went to the graveside service. I am still amazed at the gravity of my grief and how it can be magnified by someone else's loss. As I drove to Nehalem I found myself crying once again for the loss of Stephen. Walking gingerly through the cemetery, to the site of the service, I could picture myself as I stood at Stephen's grave and said that symbolic last goodbye. It was amazing how raw the grief still is sometimes.
Rick and I decided to forego all 4th of July celebrations and we spent the afternoon and evening together. We watched two movies. One was difficult to follow and the second one was quite thought provoking. I think sometimes it is okay to just slow down and relax so this has been good. Pretty amazing for a social butterfly like me.
I will soon be teaching math again--4 out of 5 classes in my school day. I haven't taught math since 2005 so it will be a learning curve for me. I think it is good though to change things up in my teaching. I have written my own lessons these past two years since I switched jobs. I think it keeps me thinking and forces me to grow as a teacher. I hope that when I lose that energy and desire I will retire. I don't want to be the teacher everyone thinks needs to retire.
I value what God has been teaching me these past few months. I am so thankful that I am not stagnant in my walk. I want to continue to grow and mature as a believer. I think I have a few more years before I graduate to heaven but I want to be ready and live each day as if it could be my last.
